losing it

It's still bothering me. I can't stop thinking about it. And each time I do, I remember them - their faces begin flashing in my mind, one by one, again and again. Then I recall, the times I had with each of them. And then I remember why they left. And how I was torn. The pain. I remember the feeling, of struggling to bring the pieces of me back together again. And their faces, kept playing. They kept coming back into my head. They kept coming back.

How many more times need this happen? How many more mornings shall I wake puffy-eyed? How much longer must I be subject to this torture? How much more senselessness can there be in one life? Surely there must be some greater purpose. Surely there must be reason. I need to know.

Why is this happening again?