When I was a child, I never imagined this day to come. It was too distant then, and it meant too many changes for me to comprehend fully. Eighteen meant enlistment. It meant growing up, and learning about who you really are. It meant responsibility, because it is generally assumed that eighteeners have sound judgement. It meant moving into a new phase in life, one that was far larger than me. And it still does. Right now I stand in this moment in time facing the A' level examinations. The only thing (vaguely) beyond that, is the army, come January. And life still seems so much larger than me. I look ahead, and I feel scared.
I still don't know what it means to be a soldier. Neither do I know where to take my future. I don't know how I will bear the consequences of the mistakes I know I will make. I also don't know how much longer I can survive messing with my own head like this. But for what it's worth, reaching this day has come to mean at least one thing for me: I understand - more clearly - who, what, and why I am; and for now, I am just eighteen.
Saturday, October 25
of age
7 comments:
Familiarity breeds contempt, Jon. Familiarity breeds contempt.
...i still hope you'll have a happy birthday, yeah?
Axnxg: Uh, I don't quite get what you're getting at...
Mel: Yeah, I will. Thanks :)
When you were young, you couldn't comprehend what it would be like to be 18. You would have thought that when you become 18, you would be much better. Now that you're familiar with what it's like to be 18, it doesn't quite feel much better, now, does it?
After all, familiarity breeds contempt.
One of few ideas that can be drawn from this saying. There are others. You can figure them out if you want.
Meh it sounds like a long shot. It barely fits this context at all...
i) I don't hate being eighteen or anything like that. There's no contempt.
ii) I'm not one bit "familiar" with being eighteen. It's only been a few hours.
iii) I don't think the phrase ever referred to abstract concepts like age. Even if you wanted to take a literary twist on it, it doesn't capture the spirit of the saying...
It doesn't capture what the original spirit of the saying, that's true.
Ergo, I used the wrong saying. Gah! Never mind, it was late anyway. I must have been tired.
Nonetheless, when I said you were familiar with being 18, I meant to being, well, your age. You know what it's like to be a teen, so, yeah...
I think it's still one way to see it, though.
Hmm.. okay then. I still think it's a long shot. Heh.
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